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Domestic Violence: The harsh reality
BY BEVERLY SMITH
Children who live with victims or perpetrators of domestic violence see the harsh reality of abuse on a daily basis. They see the suffering their mothers endure at the hands of their fathers or mom’s current boyfriend. Many kids live in fear that their mothers will be seriously injured or even killed by her perpetrator.
Research shows that children who live with an abusive parent are often victims of abuse themselves. A recent study revealed that half of all men who abuse their partners also physically abuse their children. One survey of victims of intimate partner violence with children found that 87% said their child had witnessed the abuse.
Children being raised with domestic violence have more stress-related ailments than their counterparts who live with non-abusive parents. They may also live in constant fear that their friends will find out and forsake them because of the abuse. Some kids even blame themselves for the abuse. “If only I could be a good boy/girl, then mommy and daddy wouldn’t fight.”
Kids living with intimate partner violence are often anxious or afraid. They may believe they should be able to stop the abuser from perpetrating violence and feel guilty that they cannot stop it. Some of these children who have suffered severe trauma may also have a profound need to receive adult attention.
Children who live in violent homes may have more problems with truancy or running away from home. Eating disorders or substance abuse may be more common in teens living in abusive homes. Children living in the cycle of abuse often become a part of the cycle when they grow up.
While it may sound pretty hopeless, there are some things everyone can do to help these children:
• Be a role model. Allow children to see a better way to resolve conflicts by exhibiting healthy conflict resolution skills.
• Treat every human being with dignity and respect. Let children know that human beings are to treat each other humanely.
• Advocate for victims of intimate partner violence. Let your family and friends know that you will not stand by and allow someone to be abusive to his/her partner.
It has been said that what the best parent wants for his/her child should be what Society wants for all children. No child deserves to grow up with domestic violence. Will you speak up for the sake of a child?
The Harbor Children’s Alliance and Victim Center provides services through the support of United Way of Calhoun County, Children’s Advocacy Centers of Texas and the National Children’s Alliance.
Research shows that children who live with an abusive parent are often victims of abuse themselves. A recent study revealed that half of all men who abuse their partners also physically abuse their children. One survey of victims of intimate partner violence with children found that 87% said their child had witnessed the abuse.
Children being raised with domestic violence have more stress-related ailments than their counterparts who live with non-abusive parents. They may also live in constant fear that their friends will find out and forsake them because of the abuse. Some kids even blame themselves for the abuse. “If only I could be a good boy/girl, then mommy and daddy wouldn’t fight.”
Kids living with intimate partner violence are often anxious or afraid. They may believe they should be able to stop the abuser from perpetrating violence and feel guilty that they cannot stop it. Some of these children who have suffered severe trauma may also have a profound need to receive adult attention.
Children who live in violent homes may have more problems with truancy or running away from home. Eating disorders or substance abuse may be more common in teens living in abusive homes. Children living in the cycle of abuse often become a part of the cycle when they grow up.
While it may sound pretty hopeless, there are some things everyone can do to help these children:
• Be a role model. Allow children to see a better way to resolve conflicts by exhibiting healthy conflict resolution skills.
• Treat every human being with dignity and respect. Let children know that human beings are to treat each other humanely.
• Advocate for victims of intimate partner violence. Let your family and friends know that you will not stand by and allow someone to be abusive to his/her partner.
It has been said that what the best parent wants for his/her child should be what Society wants for all children. No child deserves to grow up with domestic violence. Will you speak up for the sake of a child?
The Harbor Children’s Alliance and Victim Center provides services through the support of United Way of Calhoun County, Children’s Advocacy Centers of Texas and the National Children’s Alliance.
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